Skip to main content

Yesterday at the Office

I was too upset. I felt that nobody would like me to push through with my plans. I am the course supervisor and I believe that I should have full control (depends on what it means). For the course, I want the participants to conduct a small scale study. I have done the visit and arrangement with the principal. The group also already agreed with the plan. However, these people I am supposed to work with and who are supposed to encourage me were the ones who were so discouraging. Accordingly, there should be no course work or try-out since the course will be for four weeks only. It was agreed upon on a meeting before I came.


I was never aware of such an agreement. Being unaware of whatever it was, I had the plan already made up. I presented this to the head. What he just said, if the group can do it and I think I can do it, then nobody will stop me. What an encouragement!


Then there was this big fuss over a small thing. Just because they were not able to conduct a study the last time would mean that I would have the same fate also. That is far from my mind. Ijust want the participants to experience how it is gonna be. I want them to feel the satisfaction of coming out with their ownresearch no matter how simple it may be.


I never want to show or prove anything to anybody. Just that. It so happen that I am so enthusiastic about the group and I believe that it can be done. It will never boil down to why has my group done this and the others had not.

I am new in thisjob. You had lots of opportunities before. Now let me have mine.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Swimming

We went for a night swimming. My friends and I enjoyed the cool breeze of the starry night in Alroa (that's the name of the resort). Well, I did not exactly go for a dip but as I said I enjoyed the night and the thought that I was out of home. I rarely get out of the house since vacation started. I just don't know but I was actually afraid of leaving home after that 'incident' that happened a week ago. It frightens me til now. Having survived that, I believe it was kinda life changing. It made me change the way I look at my life now. It feels weird but I really enjoy being at home, with my mom and being alone with myself. But I had to admit that it is suffocating at times. I need to get out to breathe some fresh air and enjoy a refreshingly new environment. I believe that everyone of us, once in our life, well, maybe more, experiences that kind of imprisonment. We feel we are being burdened by our loneliness, that it is okay to be alone. But hey, one day, we will wake u...

Ash Wednesday

Today Lenten season begins. Together with the Filipino participants, I am going to attend Mass for the traditional ash-marking in the forehead. Since I am in a far away land, it is an opportunity for me to look back and reflect on how my life has been. I know I have a blessed life. I have been given so much. And I am thankful for all that come my way. There were good memories. There were sad memories even painful ones. But even the littlest detail of my life has been a lesson learned. When I picture the people who are always there for me in my mind, I just can't help but ask, have I been there for them ?In the process, there were those who came and left their marks behind yet there were those who came and left scars in my heart. Nevertheless, somewhere in my life, I have been me. I was touched. I was hurt. And nothing compares the pain of loneliness, of emptiness, of being ignored. As the season unfolds, let it be my resolve to look back and let go of the heavy burdens in my load. ...

Been Some Time

It took me some time to make another entry. Not that I am busy. I do not even admit that to myself. Not that I do not have the time. I have all the time I need. Not that I do not have anything to write about. So many things have happened in between. Just can't explain the lull. Maybe I am just too lazy to put my thoughts down. Anyway nobody cares or bothers. But I told myself what the heck. This gives me the impetus to go on living and live I will. There are pains. I felt pains. I am still having them now. I think the pain will stay. Whatever causes the pains, that I could not understand. Sometimes it is self-inflicted. I deserve it. For not knowing how to handle life, I deserve all the pains. That is gross. It's unfair. I thought I was doing myself justice. But why do I have to punish myself for being what I am? I have my limitations, my strengths, my weakness. I am well aware of them. I could not help it when I would not be accepted as I am. I just let be. As I ponder on the ...