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Thanks

Guess that's it. There is no denying that you will leave. But what to do? Life has to move on. It may be difficult for me to see you go but you have to. Sorry that I was not able to attend your graduation blow out. I had to be with JC. They had plans and I could not afford not to be with them. Not that I do not want to be with you, you know I do. I hope you understand. Thanks for the nice words during your valedictory address. You made me cry. That was the first time I allowed myself to shed tears on commencement exercises. Not even during my time did it happen. There were still words to say. There were still unexpressed emotions to unleash. But I think there is no need to do that anymore. Time will only tell whether you will uncover the mysteries of the deepest recesses of my heart. Just let be. I am hurting. The pain pricks like there is nothing like it. It is so intense that I could not define what is not real and what is imagined. I am dying to tell you that I love you. Whateve...
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How

It was already late. Sleep never wanted to disturb me from thinking. It never wanted to liberate me from the pain I was going through. I kept on thinking, thinking til I was numb. I could only feel the throbbing pain that's left after. I would have wanted to free myself from this misery. That early dose of sleep would be quite a relief. But I could not find any of that. My body was begging for some well deserved rest after a long day. Yet the day was made longer by my petty foolishness. This has been difficult for me. I know there was nothing to expect. I did not expect for your message, your email, your sms, your visit, any of that. I did not expect you to greet me on our special day. I did not expect you to show up. I did not expect you... And I expected myself to be this lonely. There was nothing I could do but to allow the tears washed the stain on my cheeks. It went down to even wash the dust that covered my neck. Til it refrained from further flowing down...the tears stopped ...
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