Reflections

hope you still remember. i am just around waiting for you to come home. miss you so much!

this is my favorite song since i was 12. each time i hear this song something's comin' over me. do you know that feeling? you know there is something but that you just can't say what it is.

Reflections: Moment : "Stupid! That was how my mathematics teacher called me once during my senior year in high school. I was in front of the class, on the board, ..."

Stupid! That was how my mathematics teacher called me once during my senior year in high school. I was in front of the class, on the board, having answered incorrectly a math problem he said was easy. Stunned and stupefied, I could not remember how long have I stood there. I thought my legs kept me from moving, when so many eyes were upon me, I was enveloped with embarrassment and numbness. After the class, I declined to have my lunch, afraid that my classmates would poke fun at me. And yes they did, behind me (which i would learn later). That was the turning point of my life with mathematics. I really could not blame my teacher. Mathematics was something I detest then, and it was my waterloo. But that unfortunate incident, it dawned upon me that I better put myself together and redeem myself. Not to prove to my teacher that I am what he thinks I am, I embarked on a journey. And this I did with mathematics as company. Years later, I earned my degree in mathematics. When it came to my t...

Yehey! I now have a new digital camera. It's a Nixon, silver-coated and touch screen. Whew! Thought I could never replaced the one I lost. When I was trying to figure out how the thing works, memories with my old Sony Cybershot hit me like a lightning. Bought it a year after my stay in Malaysia. In fact, it was the most expensive ware I bought while there. During my trips, my Sony cam would be with me to document the memories. Everywhere I go, there my cam was also with me. It became my source of refuge, my silent companion, my memory keeper. It captured the high and low moments of my life. But I lost it. When that happens, a part of me seems to have gone with it. I felt empty and lonely. Not that it is just a thing but it is more than that. It became my partner. It meant a lot to me and the scene when I bought it still clearly plays in my mind. The excitement, the glee, the pride of having something I long wanted. One time when I was about to leave SM during a visit, I passed by ...

I was waiting for the rain to give us a good shower while the procession was on. The heavens were heavily dark, a signal that any moment rains would come by. It did not happen. It was the day before the fiesta. Last year, it was kinda different. People were just leaving the church after mass to join the procession and the rain started. Instead of leaving the queue and go home, people simply stayed put and marched on through the heavy fall and the music of the band. It was such a good sight to behold. The rains did not dampen the spirit of the people to make the longest ever procession I could possibly remember. Anyway, that is St. John the Baptist baptizing us with water from the heaven. Rain or no rain, people flocked to the procession. Though not as well attended as last year's, yet it was quite long. I told myself I never saw how many came last year, maybe, just maybe there were more attendees this year than last year. I do not know. Whatever it is the spirit of the celebration ...

I just do not understand why I am feeling this way. There are so many things roaming in my mind. If these are people running inside that empty shell of mine, then probably, they would have been too tired by now. But the thing is I do not even know what I am feeling. I just sense that there is so much agony inside of me. What is? That I cannot even attempt to decipher. Is it my class? Is it the pressure of the upcoming competitions? Is it my new found someone who I think is better than having none? Whatever it is, I believe, that my soul is clouded by so much pain and that its deepest recesses do no have the strength to redeem itself. I am not easily swayed by things around me. I can bend, I can stoop, but never wallow in misery. Yet, I am now. Rain comes and my heart could not even appreciate the cold sensation it offers. I look upon it as heaven's tears sympathizing with me. All I could harmonize is the pathetic feeling I am down with. What could this be? Sometimes there are quest...