Skip to main content

Dad

I have never been away from any of your birthdays in the past. But today I am in a distant land. I become a stranger to the people around me as they are to me. I used to think that you don't know me as I am. Stranger I become to you. Like the people who used to gather around me each day.


There are things to say. There are words that need be spoken. But sometimes silence speaks better than any word conveys. I sense that I have not completely explored that part between you and me. We have not spent so much time telling things to each other. We have not spent much time on our own.


I was not the one you expected me to be. I was completely different from the person you wanted me to be. Yet, I am me.There are some moments in my life that I feel you totally disown me. You have never really accepted me as who and what I am. Still I pretend that I coexist with you in harmony. At times we might be beside each other but I felt that a great distance separated us. At times I attempted to narrow the bridge between us but I was unsuccessful or I just did not try good enough.


When thick darkness clouds my day, you were there. When troubles beset me, you were there. WhenI was in silent agony and despair, you were there. I may not have noticed it but you were there every step of the way.


We have our differences. It is but natural. Let them be water under the bridge now.


It may come late and I do not want that to happen. I want you to know that I will always be here for you. No matter who and what I become, where I would be, I will be the same son as you know that I am.


I love you, Dad. I may not often say that to you but at least I have this chance of telling you how much you mean to me.


Happy Birthday!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Course Starts

Today the course of which I am the superviosr started. I had 15 participants. There was no one from Myanmar, 4 paying participants from Thailand and one from Kenya. This afternoon, I gave them the briefing and it turned out to be wonderful. Though there were those who could not communicate well with English, it should not deter them in fully participating in every session. When I was one of the particpants back in 2004, I felt the difficulty of having them as co-participants. It is as if asking them why were they here in the first place. Now that I am the supervisor, I see it in different perspectives. Language is important but should not be a barrier to communication. I told them if they could not say it, then write down. If they could not put it on papers, then make use of sign language. If still it is not possible, then use facial expressions. The thingi would like to get across at is that we have to find ways and means to express ourselves. In our first session this afternoo, I enc...

Jasmin

When you were born I was in the 6th grade. I vividly remember that day. I went to class gladly telling my friends that you already came after a long wait. Perhaps being the eldest child, I had that rare opportunity to be a silent witness to all of you, my siblings, coming to the world. I was in Manila when you were growing up. Dad and Mom sent me to the city to further my studies. I stayed there til I finished my graduate work. Though I went back in between breaks and during holidays, I still felt that I never really saw you blossomed into a young lady. I felt that I missed something. When I decided to teach and stay, then I realized that you were not a child anymore. I have my own world and you have yours. I did not understand that. All I knew then was that you should fit into my world, that we belong to the same world. I was wrong. And that was my greatest mistake. I tried to make amends of the things I took for granted. You were one of those. I never truly bothered to ask you how yo...

How

It was already late. Sleep never wanted to disturb me from thinking. It never wanted to liberate me from the pain I was going through. I kept on thinking, thinking til I was numb. I could only feel the throbbing pain that's left after. I would have wanted to free myself from this misery. That early dose of sleep would be quite a relief. But I could not find any of that. My body was begging for some well deserved rest after a long day. Yet the day was made longer by my petty foolishness. This has been difficult for me. I know there was nothing to expect. I did not expect for your message, your email, your sms, your visit, any of that. I did not expect you to greet me on our special day. I did not expect you to show up. I did not expect you... And I expected myself to be this lonely. There was nothing I could do but to allow the tears washed the stain on my cheeks. It went down to even wash the dust that covered my neck. Til it refrained from further flowing down...the tears stopped ...