Skip to main content

Turning 40

Less than a week from now, I will be facing the inevitable. Well, life they say begins at 40. People who know always tell me that. I wonder why. In a matter of days, I would be able to figure out exactly that. Exciting? Scary? That surely depends on how I see life.

As I ponder through my life, I can't help but ask, where have I been?, what have I done with life?, have I made the most of it?. Looking back, life is not always a bed of roses. I simply compare it to a box of chocolates (quoting Forrest Gump), "you do not know what you will get". I had my share of life's up and down (again quoting a line from a famous song) and through them my life is defined.

Blessings I have so much and if I do my math, there will be too much to count. I do not even know where to start. Life has been good to me. Though there were times that the thorns of the roses prick through my body, I consider them my learning moments. Those were the times when wisdom is polished and experience is enriched. Life is made better when sweetness and bitterness become united. Balance is a commodity difficult to find. People search for that balance, and to tell you, it is a never ending search.

As I go through this phase of life, some questions keep bugging me aside from those I mentioned earlier.How do the significant people in my life and peers see me? If I ask them this question, how will they answer me? To think of their responses would be a good gauge of how I spend my life. How others see me is how I manifest life.

To reinvent myself is to renew the vigor of my existence. There is still so much to give, to discover, to share. I would like to spend the rest of my days the way I envisioned it when I was young.

I know I am on my way. And I will make it sure to be there.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Course Starts

Today the course of which I am the superviosr started. I had 15 participants. There was no one from Myanmar, 4 paying participants from Thailand and one from Kenya. This afternoon, I gave them the briefing and it turned out to be wonderful. Though there were those who could not communicate well with English, it should not deter them in fully participating in every session. When I was one of the particpants back in 2004, I felt the difficulty of having them as co-participants. It is as if asking them why were they here in the first place. Now that I am the supervisor, I see it in different perspectives. Language is important but should not be a barrier to communication. I told them if they could not say it, then write down. If they could not put it on papers, then make use of sign language. If still it is not possible, then use facial expressions. The thingi would like to get across at is that we have to find ways and means to express ourselves. In our first session this afternoo, I enc...
Post a Comment
Read more

Jasmin

When you were born I was in the 6th grade. I vividly remember that day. I went to class gladly telling my friends that you already came after a long wait. Perhaps being the eldest child, I had that rare opportunity to be a silent witness to all of you, my siblings, coming to the world. I was in Manila when you were growing up. Dad and Mom sent me to the city to further my studies. I stayed there til I finished my graduate work. Though I went back in between breaks and during holidays, I still felt that I never really saw you blossomed into a young lady. I felt that I missed something. When I decided to teach and stay, then I realized that you were not a child anymore. I have my own world and you have yours. I did not understand that. All I knew then was that you should fit into my world, that we belong to the same world. I was wrong. And that was my greatest mistake. I tried to make amends of the things I took for granted. You were one of those. I never truly bothered to ask you how yo...
Post a Comment
Read more

How

It was already late. Sleep never wanted to disturb me from thinking. It never wanted to liberate me from the pain I was going through. I kept on thinking, thinking til I was numb. I could only feel the throbbing pain that's left after. I would have wanted to free myself from this misery. That early dose of sleep would be quite a relief. But I could not find any of that. My body was begging for some well deserved rest after a long day. Yet the day was made longer by my petty foolishness. This has been difficult for me. I know there was nothing to expect. I did not expect for your message, your email, your sms, your visit, any of that. I did not expect you to greet me on our special day. I did not expect you to show up. I did not expect you... And I expected myself to be this lonely. There was nothing I could do but to allow the tears washed the stain on my cheeks. It went down to even wash the dust that covered my neck. Til it refrained from further flowing down...the tears stopped ...
Post a Comment
Read more