Sorry

I made a mess of us. How could I say love when all I do is hurt you?

An unforgivable mistake it was I had to admit. And I could never blame you. Until now I could see your tear drown face. I could sense the pain, the anger, the misery. All I could do was look at you. There was nothing to say. Defend myself I never tried to do; that would make you more miserable.

I surrender my case. I pleaded guilty. Sentence me to a life of suffering without you.

The night was still young when you saw me. You caught me building walls between us. Stupid, it was stupid of me not to consider you, not to think of the consequences of my actions.

Yet it already happened. There was nothing I could do anymore.

I'm sorry.

That's all I could muster. The strength to express myself has evaded me. My thoughts were filled with anxious ideas, with guilt recollections and with pleading reckonings. Guess this is what guilt could do...imprisoned you with your own ghost. That's how I am now. That's how I am feeling at the moment.

Forgiveness I beg you but I would also understand if you would deny me that. I hurt you and there's nothing that could mend the broken pieces of your heart. You have loved me so much. You have sacrificed a lot just to make that love real, just to make me feel how much you mean. And despite all, I hurt you. It was a pain like no other.

And you don't deserve that.

Again, I am sorry.

I know that you are trying to move on without me. You learned your lesson. Though I would try to win you back, it would make things more difficult for both of us. You have lost that love. You have lost that trust in me. You have lost confidence in us.

From then on, I would refrain from seeing you. I would avoid looking at you. And if ever a need arises to have a talk with you, then I would do it with all the civility I could.

I would do this not because I do not love you anymore, but to make things easier for you, for me, for both of us.

Love you, I still do so much. Yet it would be difficult for you to believe that anymore. You deserve to be happy, to be loved.

Ahhh, this never would be easy. I was the one who made it happened. I was the one who betrayed that love. I was the one who hurt you.

This is my sentence. I deserve this.

I'm sorry, tay.