Skip to main content

James

I am not even sure whether your name starts with a J or a P. I always assume it's a J since all in the family have a J and that also gives us the same initials, JAC. The last time I saw you was when you brought your wife and child back home after a long absence. Destiny has it that you settle in Cebu and life goes on then. It has been some time since I talked to you.


As children, we have fond memories of those days gone by. I might not have been always with you those times but I was a witness to your struggles and difficulties, to your discovery of the real you and your world. I understand what you have gone through.


Sometimes I believe that I do not know how to be a big brother to you. At times, I just watched you in a corner, speechless, helpless, letting you on your own. I have to admit I was also afraid; afraid of something I could not understand. Life has so much intimidations and I think I was drown by them. With my own helplessness, I let you be. And you were on your own.


Yet deep inside, something tells me that you are a fighter, that you know how to be on your own and that life has so much for you. You never lose that confidence. You show me how to survive in a harsh world, a place where being different is ignored, and you are there.


I always appreciate how you took care of me, of how you make me feel being your big brother. Colleagues would often tell me how fortunate I am to have a brother bringing me freshly cooked meals in school, to neatly iron my clothes, to understand my inadequacies, to be just there.


I miss those days, when the days were young. I miss being with you. I saw you grew up into who you are now. They say you look like Dad, and you are. Just hope that time comes when you come home and build a new life with all of us. You have Marivic and Yan Yan. I do not have anybody but all of you.


Life blessed us with each other. Your life is your blessing. Live it well.


Happy birthday, bro! Miss you so much.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Ash Wednesday

Today Lenten season begins. Together with the Filipino participants, I am going to attend Mass for the traditional ash-marking in the forehead. Since I am in a far away land, it is an opportunity for me to look back and reflect on how my life has been. I know I have a blessed life. I have been given so much. And I am thankful for all that come my way. There were good memories. There were sad memories even painful ones. But even the littlest detail of my life has been a lesson learned. When I picture the people who are always there for me in my mind, I just can't help but ask, have I been there for them ?In the process, there were those who came and left their marks behind yet there were those who came and left scars in my heart. Nevertheless, somewhere in my life, I have been me. I was touched. I was hurt. And nothing compares the pain of loneliness, of emptiness, of being ignored. As the season unfolds, let it be my resolve to look back and let go of the heavy burdens in my load. ...

Why

You ran away from me. I could not understand. You always did that when the truth surfaces. I was just telling you about it. I was not even bragging nor nagging you. Hurt; I was hurt by it. And you don’t know. How will you know when you stop noticing? How will you notice when you stop caring? How will you care when there is nothing anymore? Don’t make me feel this way. I knew it all along. I hid it from you. Because there is a greater reason to keep it. I understand. And I can cover up the pain just to have you in my life. But you still chose to leave me. I was asking why, and you gave me no reason. I deserve to know; and you gave me nothing. You just said I was a mistake in your life. Just let me ask you. The truth hurts, but it frees us from the lies that surround us. Now I know. You don’t have to say it. You just showed it to me. To make me feel what you wanted to say. I should have been the one to run away from it. Don’t you think so? What are you doing to me? It seems to me that wh...

Panic

Today I felt so nervous. Only a week left and the regular course is on. Since assuming the post of course supervisor, I know I have been doing my best. But how good is my best? After preparing the course outline and successfully presented it to consultants and colleagues, I embarked on gathering the details of how the course will proceed. I kept constantly busy surfing the net for new ideas. Actually I fished a lot. There were so many things going on around the world. I would be very glad to share them with the participants. My notes, I think I have prepared my best notes. In fact, as I told Mr. Deva, the head of the training programme, that I intend to publish my materials in the future. So, how can I safeguard my lectures? Well, simply claim that it is copyrighted. That so! It took so much time writing a piece of the lecture. That's why, when I was looking at them after printing, I would tell myself that it is like writing an article for publication. I really did so much for a le...