Jojo

Last Tuesday my brother went to the US, the land where every Filipino dreams to be. My brother is one of them. Not that he wants to be an American citizen (though that may be possible in the not so distant future) but circumstances force him to find greener pastures in the land of milk and honey. Just not sure if the land still flows with so much opportunities for us to harvest (sounds as if they grow on trees or sprout everywhere).

I last saw my brother Sunday before the flight. We did not have much exchange of words. I was in the K of C meeting and when I went home he was already on his way to Manila. That saddens me. Not being able to talk with him or even hug him. I will miss him terribly.

The night before Tuesday I was trying to call him but nobody picked up the phone. Might be that they were already asleep. It was late anyway. Fifteen minutes before the scheduled flight I was able to reach him. For a minute or so, I was able to tell him some brotherly reminders. Tears just flowed. I could not help it. Feels like it would be for some time before I see him again. Well, technology always connects us but still it is different when you know that he is just around (he still is though some miles away).

It reminds me of my stint in Malaysia. I can still clearly remember the pangs of loneliness hanging over my shoulders. The only means to divert my attention is to work and spend more time to work. Having experienced to feel sooo empty, sooo lonely, sooo alone...I just can't help but think of my brother. He may be going through the same now.

There, I literally covered my face with a pillow and shouted at the top of my lungs (just to ease the undefinable pain there is). There I figuratively talked at the walls; more so, I talked with myself. Once I have mentioned that each time I had shower I felt being drowned (and that would make me decide to leave home and go somewhere).

I called my friends to accompany me anywhere fate would bring us. That was when I met them. But before meeting them, there was nothing. I let time pass seated in front of the mall (after searching its every detail) and look at anyone and anything before me. Funny as it was but yes that happened to me.

My brother reads a lot, so do I. Books entertain us. Movies, there are much around too. Malls are places to spend time also. I believe he is one guy who knows how to spend time wisely. He will never allow himself to rot in loneliness and emptiness. He knows just what to do. And his family is enough reason to be strong.

Miles away...my brother sits through life alone in a strange land. Destiny leads him to where he is now. I know he is happy. There are more pressing reasons why he needs to be there.

Just be the best that you can be, bro. Make us proud. God takes care of you.