Waiting

How do you wait for someone?

How do you feel when after all the loving and the waiting there is just nothing, there is just emptiness, there is just misery?

I told myself that if love is really gone, then let be. I convinced myself that it was that easy. I thought it would be.

I was wrong.

In the midst of them all, I pretended a smile. I camouflaged a disposition that no one would notice the pain I was having inside of me. I was living a life I borrowed from inspirational books, to go on with life despite the odds, despite the reality that the love I once knew is now part of my history.

Sing a song. Read a book. Keep busy. Watch a movie. Meet friends.

I did all that. In the hope that it would ease the difficulty, the longing, the loneliness. In the hope that it would somehow lessen the burden, that it would allow me to forget momentarily, that it would spare me the tears.

Yet there were so many things to remind me of you. All the places, the songs, the faces, the days. They all remind me of my days with you. It was such a crazy existence without you. My life has been with you.

My life is you.

I could not go on living like this. I could not waste my life hoping and waiting.

Forget you. I could try. Let go. I could try.

And still, in the deep recesses of my heart, I would be loving...in silence.

Cause, I believe that, someday love will bring us back together.

Into each other. Where we belong.